A participatory amusement thread held on TORn's Message Boards


Scenes From The Hat (SFTH) is a participatory amusement thread posted bi-monthly on the Main Forum by Alassëa Eruvande. Each thread poses a question and participants are encouraged to provide the "most ridiculous, funny, absurd, provocative, pun-inducing, or all-of-the-above answer." The answers are posted as one-liners in the subject head of each post.

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Scenes From the Hat
Message Board Links Collection : Index
Message Board Periodic Threads : Index

Collected Links


02/20/2007 What problems and happy moments do Middle-earth folk experience moving house?
02/27/2007 Other things that make Sting glow
03/06/2007 Why did Frodo really leave Middle Earth (for the Undying Lands)?
03/13/2007 If any TORnado were a member ot the Fellowship
03/27/2007 All I Really Need to Know I Learned from The Lord of the Rings
04/10/2007 Middle-earth Tax Deductions and Excuses for Filing at the Last Minute
04/17/2007 Books found in the library at Tuckborough
06/26/2007 How about ... Middle-earth Summer Vacation Plans
07/10/2007 Things you can say about Gandalf, but not about your boyfriend ...


07/10/2008 Songs the Professor discarded before finally settling on "Tra-La-Lally" for the Rivendell elves
07/17/2008 "Scenes from LOTR: The Chick Flick"
07/24/2008 Things Gollum kept on his little subterranean island. Well, besides...you know
07/31/2008 Games people play in Middle Earth
08/07/2008 Just what did the beacon keepers of Gondor do to pass the time
08/14/2008 Books you would never expect to find in the library of Orthanc
08/21/2008 Things in the orcs' pantry
08/28/2008 Things the dwarves found underneath the gold and jewels of the dragon-hoard in Erebor
09/04/2008 What did little Lobelia Sackville-Baggins want to be when she grew up?
09/12/2008 What's written on the East-gate of Moria? You'd think the Fellowship would pause for at least a quick skim
09/18/2008 "Blue Plate" specials available at the Prancing Pony --post War of the Ring
09/25/2008 What were some of the more unusual mathoms given by Frodo and Bilbo over the years to their friends in Middle Earth?
10/02/2008 Comments the hobbits made when Ted Sandyman ran for Thain of the Shire
10/09/2008 Secrets revealed in Ted Sandyman's tell-all autobiography
10/16/2008 "A lament for Gandalf." "What do they say about him?"
10/23/2008 Secret messages intercepted during the War (either side)
10/30/2008 Things given to trick-or-treaters by the residents of Middle Earth
11/06/2008 What are some of the usernames that various LotR characters would choose if TORn members?
11/13/2008 Amidst the endless screams and inane babble, they discerned two words
11/20/2008 One-line obituaries for Boromir
11/27/2008 What do the residents of Middle Earth do after the big Thanksgiving feast?
12/04/2008 Middle Earth's warriors like to name their favorite weapons. Sting, Glamdring, Herugrim, etc. etc.
12/18/2008 In honor of the discussion below about living in medieval times


01/01/2009 What were some of the conversations overheard at the big Middle Earth party last night?
01/08/2009 Names of sports teams in Middle Earth
01/22/2009 the Legendary Rock Bands from Middle Earth
01/30/2009 What do Hobbit kids do on a Saturday night?
02/05/2009 What other forms did the Valar reject before sending the Istari to Middle Earth in the guise of old men?
02/19/2009 an alternative 2nd line to "Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow"
02/26/2009 Tolkien himself had many names for Aragorn, many he used and some he didn't
03/05/2009 "I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox! And...." What?
03/13/2009 Onboard entertainment/activities on the last ship to Valinor
03/26/2009 Things overheard by Gollum as he swam behind the boats on the Anduin
04/02/2009 Things that will get you kicked out of the Prancing Pony
04/09/2009 Calls the Shirriffs responded to in the Shire
04/16/2009 Books you might find in Sauron's library. And has he actually read them?
04/23/2009 Words exchanged between Gandalf and the Balrog on the way to the bottom
04/30/2009 Gardeners came by arrangement, and removed in wheel-barrows those that had inadvertently remained behind
05/08/2009 The House of Elrond at Rivendell was known as the Last Homely House before a traveller crossed the Misty Mountain
05/28/2009 Things that will get you Fell Beast pen-cleaning duty in Minas Morgul
06/18/2009 What if WIKI - Witch King - has a Wiki - Wikipedia?
06/26/2009 What were Elrond's parting words as the Fellowship leaves Rivendell?
07/09/2009 Over on the Movie Board, someone wrote that Galadriel's swan boat in the movie
07/16/2009 What did Merry and Pippin see while they were trapped inside Old Man Willow?
07/30/2009 Many are my names in many countries, he said. Mithrandir among the Elves
08/13/2009 What were some of the Tweets sent out by the Fellowship during the quest?
08/20/2009 What license plates would the LOTR folks have and on what vehicles?
08/27/2009 Naughty Things Sauron Did That We Never Heard About
09/03/2009 Reasons the crazy mumak driver from ROTK loves his job so much
09/17/2009 Would Gandalf wear a ten gallon pointy hat? Would he jump up on the King of Mearas
09/22/2009 "You've been appointed 'Events Co-ordinator' by Bilbo for the Party, what Fun and Games
10/01/2009 Pub names Butterbur discarded before settling on "The Prancing Pony"
10/08/2009 What are some of the other things Barliman Butterbur has forgotten?
10/15/2009 Rejected passwords for the Doors of Durin
12/10/2009 It seems Middle Earth is just loaded with Lords. Apart from that, um, most obvious one
12/23/2009 Today's SFTH is a challenge to come up with Middle Earth inspired Christmas songs


01/07/2010 So... what 'secret' names would have been given to the LOTR characters
01/21/2010 Not many people know that ORC is actually an acronym. What do the letters O.R.C. stand for?
02/04/2010 What if Radagast had replaced Gandalf in the Fellowship?
02/18/2010 The waters of the Entwash can make you grow, those of Enchanted River
03/04/2010 What would The Lord of the Rings (movie) be called if it had been directed by someone else?
03/11/2010 Things you will find under Gandalf's pointy hat
04/08/2010 Things overheard in Valinor immediately after the Noldor left
04/15/2010 Changes to LOTR under Jedi Influence
04/26/2010 What problems/snags did the Founders encounter while trying to set up their little website called The One Ring.net?
05/06/2010 During the War of the Ring Sauron sent out the Nine disguised as riders in black
05/17/2010 Sideways: things you hope you *don't* see in the Blu Ray edition
06/03/2010 So, what are we going to offer at our Middle Earth Bake Sale?
06/18/2010 During the breaking of the Fellowship, Frodo visited Amon Hen, the Hill of Sight
07/08/2010 As Sam said, “Apples for walking”
07/29/2010 It was rumored that Sauron bought horses from Rohan
08/12/2010 What are some T-shirt sayings or designs you might find in Middle Earth?
09/22/2010 What do you suppose happened to Bilbo's mail in his absence?
10/07/2010 "But fairest of all was the great white gem, which the dwarves had found beneath the roots
10/28/2010 What are some of the things found in Smaug's hoard?
11/18/2010 Scenes From Harry Potter and the Arkenstone
11/26/2010 Now we've all had those jobs whose descriptions end with the dreaded phrase
12/06/2010 Things not to do at Galadriel and Celeborn's Christmas Party


01/06/2011 Christmas gifts from Sauron that were returned by the receiver (bonus for what they bought with the refund?)
01/20/2011 What graffiti could be found in Middle Earth? What would it be scribbled on?
01/27/2011 What are Inevitable Commercial Tie-ins as The Hobbit draws nearer? For example, the "Honda Hobbit"
02/10/2011 What is Itaril going to give her elven boyfriend for Valentine's Day?
03/10/2011 What were the things Celeborn much desired to speak with Gandalf about?
04/14/2011 What are some long lost things found during spring cleaning in Middle Earth?
04/26/2011 As Bilbo rushed out to meet the dwarves at the Green Dragon Inn, he realized he forgot several things
05/26/2011 Why did the Valar send the Istari to Middle Earth in the guise of old men?
07/21/2011 What is the story behind that bit of artifact in Bifur's head? Is it an axe blade? Lawn Dart?
08/05/2011 08/05/2011 When Frodo, Sam, and Gollum reached the Cross-roads, they found a statue
08/18/2011 "Sources of new staffs for Gandalf in the films" As in, he breaks or loses them several times
09/08/2011 "Lines from Tolkien or LOTR translated into Yoda speech" As in, "What to do with the time given to you, decide, all you have to
09/15/2011 So weaver wonders what were the discarded dwarf names?
09/22/2011 We know Bilbo gave out mathoms at his birthday. In the finest Shire tradition of mathom-giving, what were some of the mathoms he got back from the recipients in later years, on other occasions?
09/22/2011 Aragorn and Bilbo were both known by various other names. Aragorn is Strider, Longshanks, Elessar, Estel, and others
10/13/2011 So, what would a Steampunk LOTR be like? Would Lobelia's umbrella now possess certain brass accoutrements
12/19/2011 **Special SFTH Party Edition -- in Honor of FOTR's 10th Anniversary!** "Best cocktail party lines from the Fellowship's 10th Anniversary Party"


01/12/2012 What else did Bilbo find but discard in the Goblin tunnels before he found Gollum's ring?
03/22/2012 Thorin played the harp at the Unexpected Party. What other special skills does Thorin possess?
05/10/2012 Besides Radagast and his sled pulled by hares, who else had unique methods of transportation?
05/11/2012 Besides troll purses what other inanimate objects talked in Middle-earth, and what did they have to say?
06/08/2012 What is considered junk food in the Shire?
08/30/2012 Where did people of Middle Earth go to college? And did they graduate?
09/13/2012 What is scribbled in the margins of PJ's copy of The Hobbit?
09/21/2012 What are some of the rejected modes of transportation before Radagast finally settled on the bunny sled? - World Hobbit Day
10/25/2012 Just what were the dishes "tried and dismissed" by Denny's before settling on the Hobbit menu?


01/17/2013 Just what exactly is Bifur telling Gandalf in Bag End?
04/04/2013 What are some of the messages that the goblin scribe has had to scribble?
05/31/2013 Why, exactly, does Grima Wormtongue have no eyebrows?