A periodic game thread held on TORn's Message Boards
ongoing



Description

Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories is a participatory amusement thread posted every two weeks on the Main Forum by Attahua. Each thread invites participants to provide an amusing, alternate explanation to a scenario taken from one of Tolkien's books. The answers are posted as one-liners in the subject head of each post.

Related Wiki Pages

Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories
Message Board Links Collection : Index
Message Board Periodic Threads : Index

Collected Links

2007

02/17/2007 So just how did Saruman the White become Saruman of Many Colours?
02/24/2007 So just how did incorporeal Nazgul, without their cloaks and their horses dead, make their way back to Mordor?
03/17/2007 While lurking invisible within the Mirkwood Elven-king's halls for weeks on end
03/24/2007 Morgoth was the most powerful Vala of them all, and no chains were going to tame him
03/31/2007 So just how did Beorn gain the ability to shape-change into a bear?
04/07/2007 Eorl said he and his people moved south to aid Gondor when it was under siege
04/14/2007 What were the evil things that Wormtongue whispered into Theoden's ear to turn the King old before his time?
04/21/2007 What cunning strategies did Merry and Pippin secretly employ to make the Ents so angry
04/29/2007 So just what were the lies that Melkor spread among the Noldor
05/05/2007 Treebeard said the Ents would guard over Saruman in Isengard
05/12/2007 So just how did Earendil persuade the Valar to stop Melkor once and for all?
05/19/2007 Gollum's babblings about hobbits, the Shire and "Baggins" in the Mordor torture chamber
05/26/2007 It is said the Wood Elves were too wise to kill Gollum
06/02/2007 So just how did a scruffy Ranger from the North win over the hand of the immortal Arwen?
06/09/2007 Bilbo knew about the Dwarves' desire to get the Arkenstone, but they didn't tell him
06/16/2007 While seemingly everyone else was risking his life during the War of the Ring, nothing is heard from Radagast
06/23/2007 It is said that some of the Elves at Cuivienen ran away when Orome found them
06/30/2007 What is the real reason why the Valar bent the seas so that non-Elves couldn't get to Valinor?
07/08/2007 Just what plans did Saruman have for the Shire after he had taken over as The Boss?
07/14/2007 Sauron was just a puppet Dark Lord with the real evil keeping a low profile
07/22/2007 Elrond said he was considering including an Elf Lord in the Fellowship to bolster their chances
07/29/2007 The giant spiders certainly weren't a positive
08/04/2007 So just what did Saruman see in the palantir that made him finally throw his lot in with Sauron?
08/11/2007 Aule said he created the Dwarves so that he could love and teach them
08/18/2007 Just what did Gandalf find beyond all space and time before Eru sent him back to Middle-earth to complete his mission?
08/25/2007 Just what steps did Elrond take to make Rivendell so hard to find for non-Elves?
09/01/2007 Ignoring the fanciful story of a genetically-engineered assassin, who or what really killed Boromir?
09/08/2007 When some of the Ainur chose to dwell in Middle-earth and see the Song of Iluvatar fulfilled
09/16/2007 Stories of riddles next to an underground lake aside, how did Bilbo *really* acquire the One Ring from Gollum?
09/22/2007 He had Gandalf's warning and the knowledge of the One Ring's deadly nature
09/29/2007 The endless stair was not the only long-lost feature of Moria's deep realms that Gandalf rediscovered
10/06/2007 Stories say that Sauron wore a 'beautiful guise' as Annatar to fool the Elves
10/13/2007 Building the occasional ship didn't exactly swamp Cirdan with work - so what else was he up to in the Grey Havens?
10/20/2007 The Rivendell that Frodo knew was a more somber place than the one Bilbo discovered
10/27/2007 So why did Elrond really want Aragorn to become King of Gondor before he'd let him marry Arwen?
11/03/2007 Just how did Gandalf convince Thorin that a tubby Hobbit would make a superb burglar?
11/10/2007 So just what business did a Man, and Elf and a Dwarf have in the Riddermark?
11/18/2007 Sure she had one of the Three Rings and was a strong Elf in her own right
11/24/2007 So just what was it that turned the Maia Sauron to the Dark Side (as it were) of Middle-earth?
12/01/2007 Pretending to be Dernhelm wasn't the first time Eowyn had taken on another guise
12/08/2007 What was the real cause of the enmity between the Dwarves and the Elves?
12/15/2007 Enough of this 'fading' business: What really happens to Elves who stay behind in Middle-earth past the Third Age?
12/22/2007 What is the real reason why Eagles wanted to have little to do with Hobbits, Humans and Elves?
12/29/2007 So just how did Sauron reform himself into a body during his time in Dol Guldur?

2008

01/05/2008 Just what were the Woses doing in the woods of Rohan all those years, anyway?
01/13/2008 So why did Morgoth turn against the other Valar anyway?
01/19/2008 So we know that Sauron wanted to cover all of Middle-earth in a second darkness
01/27/2008 It has long been accepted that Mr Drogo Baggins was 'drownded' in the Brandywine River
02/02/2008 So what did Arwen really see in her vision that made her turn back to confront daddy?
02/09/2008 So why can't the Barrow-wights leave their barrows? What is it that keeps them tied to their hills?
02/16/2008 When Gondor's vigilance waned, Dark things quietly re-entered Mordor
02/23/2008 So just why did the Valar ban mortals from landing in Valinor?
03/01/2008 'Elf cordial' my left foot. What was really in that secret Miruvor drink
03/08/2008 So why did Bilbo really adopt Frodo as his heir?
03/15/2008 Before forging the Great Rings the Elves made lesser rings, none of which made their way into the hands of mortals
03/22/2008 Sure he gave him a promotion from Grey to White, but it would take more than that
03/29/2008 Putting aside fanciful tales of using a horde of cats as spies, what did Queen Beruthiel do that made people fear her so much?
04/05/2008 Sure he had his Orcs, but what other foul creations was Sauron ready to let loose in his bid to dominate the peoples of Middle-earth?
04/12/2008 What did Denethor *really* see in the Palantir that drove him mad?
04/20/2008 So just why did the Avari Elves refuse the Valar's call to leave Middle-earth for Valinor
04/26/2008 What a choice: Stay in Valinor with the greatest children of Eru's creation
05/03/2008 Just how did the Lothlorien Elves keep the long borders of the Golden Wood free of Orcs?
05/10/2008 The Silmarils were a cover story. What was the real reason for Feanor leaving Valinor for Middle-earth?
05/18/2008 All right, so just how did the White Council drive the Necromancer from Mirkwood?
05/25/2008 So just what cunning ploys did Saruman use to hide the fact he was breeding an entire army of Super Orcs right under Rohan's nose?
06/01/2008 The Barrow Wights are really just an ingenious security system that Tom Bombadil installed
06/07/2008 So what really were the dying words that Aragorn heard from Boromir?
06/14/2008 So just what was the reason for Orome staying away so often from the rest of the Valar?
06/22/2008 So just what were the secrets deep beneath the mountains that Gollum discovered?
06/29/2008 So just what was it in the darkness that scared the Elves at Lake Cuivenen?
07/05/2008 What is the real reason why Bombadil won't leave the boundaries of his home?
07/13/2008 So what was the secret that enabled Saruman to create not Orcs, but the superior Uruk-hai?
07/19/2008 What were some of Malbeth the Seer's other, less well-known prophecies?
07/26/2008 The myth of Ar-Pharazon's ban-breaking aside, what really caused the sinking of Westernesse?
08/02/2008 Few people know that the Uruk-hai were a mistake. What was Saruman really trying to breed in the pits of Isengard?
08/09/2008 So just what business *does* a Man, an Elf and a Dwarf have in the Riddermark?
08/16/2008 What is the real reason why the Elves of Lothlorien tried so hard to keep everyone out of the Golden Wood?
08/23/2008 Mithril wasn't the only great treasure discovered in the depths of Moria
08/31/2008 So what other objects of great desire did Feanor make in his workshop in Valinor?
09/13/2008 What is the real reason for the animosity between the Ents and the Orcs?
09/20/2008 After getting burned to a crisp by a Balrog, there's no way Glorfindel returned from the Halls of Mandos
09/27/2008 What were some of the more unusual mathoms given by Frodo and Bilbo over the years to their friends in Middle Earth?
10/04/2008 So why did Elfhelm keep quiet on the ride to Gondor about the true identity of Dernhelm?
10/11/2008 So just why did Melkor turn against his fellow Ainur and become a bad guy?
10/19/2008 What did Morgoth offer the Maia (or threaten them with) to make them consider becoming Balrogs?
10/26/2008 What was Galadriel hiding? Just why did she order Haldir and the others to keep everyone out of Lothlorien?
11/01/2008 Legends tell of Maglor throwing a Silmaril into the sea and wandering "ever upon the shores" of Middle-earth
11/08/2008 So just how did Gandalf, one of the most well-known wizards in Middle-earth, manage to sneak into Dol Guldur?
11/23/2008 So what great secrets did Bilbo keep hidden beneath the floorboards of Bag End?
11/29/2008 He lives between the wight-infested Barrow-downs and the people-eating Old Forest
12/20/2008 Just why do the Dwarves keep their real language to themselves?
12/27/2008 It was Glorfindel who famously prophesied that the Witch-king of Angmar would not fall by the hand of man

2009

01/03/2009 Balrogs, Orcs and Fell Beasts weren't the only evil creatures created by the Dark Lords
01/10/2009 In his haste, Gandalf did not manage to read all of the final comments in the Book of Mazarbul
01/24/2009 What is the real reason why the Valar bent the seas between Middle-earth and Valinor?
01/31/2009 Just what was the Watcher in the Water doing outside Moria anyway?
02/07/2009 Legend has it that Celebrimbor realised Sauron was a double-crossing evil meanie
02/22/2009 Just what was it in the depths of the mountains that caused Gollum's personality to split anyway?
02/28/2009 The Silmarils were just a excuse. Why did Feanor really leave Valinor and take so many of his kin with him?
03/07/2009 Just what did Arwen really see in her vision that made her turn back to confront daddy?
03/22/2009 So just how did the Girdle of Melian keep invaders out of realm of Doriath?
03/28/2009 Just what were the Woses saying to each other by drum-beat as the Horse Lords rode through the Druadan Forest?
04/04/2009 Just why did Elrond make Rivendell so hard to find?
04/18/2009 Just what did Wormtongue whisper into Theoden's ear to turn the King old before his time?
04/25/2009 Before they created TORN, what other websites were founded by Tehanu, Corvar, Calisuri and Xoanon that were wildly unsuccessful?
05/02/2009 Sure he had gold and possibly jools, but what other special treasures did Bilbo hide in Bag-End
05/10/2009 So just why do the Elves and the Dwarves hate each other so much anyway?
05/24/2009 What was it *really* that tipped Celebrimbor of that Sauron was a double-crossing evil Maia?
05/31/2009 Legend says that Nimrodel became lost in the White Mountains on a journey south from Lorien. So what really happened to her?
06/14/2009 There are a lot of centuries between the time when the Nine Kings faded out with their rings of power
07/05/2009 So why did Eru really send Gandalf back to Middle-earth?
07/11/2009 Just what did the Ring say to Frodo that tempted him so badly?
07/25/2009 Just what was the Balrog doing with the Orcs in Moria for all those years anyway?
08/02/2009 So how could the Silent Watchers at Cirith Ungol tell friend from foe anyway?
08/15/2009 At the end of the War of the Ring as the dwindling Fellowship headed north, Celeborn, Galadriel, Gandalf and Elrond 'took silent council in Eregion'
08/22/2009 Just what was it that Wormtongue said to age Theoden before his time?
09/06/2009 Just what did Pippin see in the Palantir that scared him so deeply?
09/20/2009 So just why are the Woses so eager to keep people out of their woods?
09/26/2009 So just why did the Necromancer set up a fortress in Mirkwood anyway?
10/03/2009 The Rivendell that Frodo knew was a more somber place than the one Bilbo discovered on his first adventure
10/10/2009 What other, *much* less successful, rings of power did Celebrimbor make in his early years?
10/18/2009 What was the real reason for the Valar banning all humans from setting foot on Valinor?
10/31/2009 Enough of this 'fading' business: What really happens to Elves who stay behind in Middle-earth past the Third Age?
11/15/2009 So why did the Avari refuse to travel to Valinor anyway
11/28/2009 So just why did Eru create Middle-earth anyway?
12/12/2009 So just how did the reclusive Lothlorien Elves keep the numerous Orcs out of their land?
12/19/2009 Just what were the gifts exchanged between the Elves and Dwarves at Christmas that caused such offense and sparked enmity over the generations
12/27/2009 So just why did the Valar ban mortals from landing in Valinor?
12/31/2009 When Feanor went of to challenge Morgoth after arriving in Beleriand, he in fact won and slew Morgoth

2010

01/09/2010 Just why wasn't Tom Bombadil interested in travelling outside his tiny realm?
01/23/2010 Just why did Celeborn stay behind in Lothlorien when Galadriel set sail for Valinor?
02/13/2010 So just why did Eorl the Young lead his people out of the North to found a home for themselves in Rohan?
02/27/2010 The Hobbits never realised that Rangers were guarding the borders of the Shire for years
03/06/2010 What was the real reason for Frodo wanting to travel alone from Amon Hen?
03/13/2010 He said he was digging for treasure, but what was Sancho Proudfoot really hoping to find beneath the floor of Bilbo's larger pantry?
03/27/2010 Just why did Fatty Bolger remain in Crickhollow when Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin went on their adventure?
04/18/2010 What was Saruman's real reason for wanting to get his hands on the One Ring?
04/26/2010 Tehanu, Xoanon, Corvar and Calisuri already have the best fan website on the net, so what is the next step in their evil plan to take over the world?
05/01/2010 The reason why Sauron is never seen during the War of the Ring is because HE DOESN'T EXIST!
05/16/2010 So why did the Avari refuse to travel to Valinor anyway?
05/29/2010 What is the real cause of The Hobbit's filming delay?
06/12/2010 Just why are the terrible Nazgul so afraid of sunlight?
06/26/2010 So why did Radagast keep such a low profile during the War of the Ring?
07/10/2010 When Gandalf was taken captive by Saruman, the former White Wizard had already made himself a Ring
08/15/2010 So what did actually happen to make the Elves realise that Annatar was the evil Sauron himself?
08/29/2010 Just why did Morgoth want to destroy everything the other Valar made in Middle-earth?
09/11/2010 Just why did Bombadil choose to live next door to the haunted Barrow-downs?
09/26/2010 Legends tell of Maglor throwing a Silmaril into the sea and wandering "ever upon the shores" of Middle-earth
10/09/2010 So what was Saruman's real reason for wanting to destroy the Shire?
10/23/2010 So why wasn't Glorfindel the one searching for Aragorn and the four Hobbits?
11/06/2010 So why did the Necromancer set up base in the Elven home of Greenwood?
11/20/2010 What other truly terrifying and evil beasts did Saruman breed in the pits below Orthanc?
11/27/2010 What was the real reason that Galadriel and Celeborn wanted no visitors in Lothlorien?
12/25/2010 What was Saruman's real reason for wanting to ruin The Shire?

2011

01/15/2011 Just why did Morgoth turn against the other Valar?
01/29/2011 We know Gollum snuck away on the Stairs of Cirith Ungol to conspire with Shelob, but what else did he do while the Hobbits slept?
02/12/2011 Just why did Thranduil keep his kingdom in Mirkwood when the giant spiders moved in?
02/26/2011 Just why did the Valar isolate themselves from Middle-earth?
03/12/2011 What was the Elves' real reason for leaving Middle-earth?
03/26/2011 Just why do the Dead in the Dead Marshes light candles at night?
04/02/2011 So why is it that Orcs just can't stand sunlight?
04/16/2011 Surely, before they even met Bilbo, Thorin and Company did not set out with an unlucky number - so what happened to the 14th Dwarf?
05/15/2011 What was the real reason why the Valar kept themselves out of the War of the Ring?
05/29/2011 Just how did the suspicious-looking (and dubiously named) Wormtongue manage to gain the position of King's trusted adviser?
06/19/2011 Just why did nine Kings of Men accept magic rings from Sauron?
06/26/2011 What was the real reason why Mandos placed the Doom of the Noldor on Feanor and his followers when they left Valinor?
07/09/2011 What is the real reason why Gollum hid beneath the Misty Mountains for so long?
07/24/2011 Just why does Elrond take such pains to keep Rivendell hidden from the world?
08/14/2011 Just what did Saruman plan to use The One Ring for?
08/27/2011 Just why did Melian and Thingol want to keep everyone out of Doriath?
09/11/2011 What were the missing four Ringwraiths up to during the attack on Weathertop?
09/17/2011 What other foul creatures did Saruman plan to create in the pits of Orthanc?
10/15/2011 [[http://newboards.theonering.net/forum/gforum/perl/gforum.cgi?post=395868; | Thorin wanted the Arkenstone, but what was so important to the other Dwarves that they'd go against a dragon to get it?
10/29/2011 What is the real reason for Grima throwing the Palantir out of Orthanc?
11/05/2011 A bit of a twist on this one: Why do some areas that appear to be on-location sets for The Hobbit not have any security around them?
11/19/2011 What is the real reason that Eru sent Gandalf back to Middle-earth?
12/03/2011 What else was written in the Book of Mazarbul, but which Gandalf declined to read aloud?
12/07/2011 So why did Smaug want all that gold and jools anyway?

2012

01/07/2012 What became of Legolas's mother?
01/14/2012 Just how did Sauron convince Ar-Pharazon to sail to the Undying Lands anyway?
01/28/2012 So just what business did a Man, an Elf and a Dwarf have in the Riddermark?
02/04/2012 What was the real reason that Lobelia wanted Bag End so badly?
02/18/2012 What next big development do The Powers That Be have in mind for TORN's discussion boards?
03/02/2012 So what did Denethor see in the Palantir that sent him mad?
03/17/2012 What is the real reason why Gandalf lost out to Saruman in the vote to head the White Council?
04/01/2012 What was the real reason for the 60-year feud between Bilbo and the Sackville-Bagginses?
04/14/2012 So why did Dwarves make their doors so hard to find?
04/28/2012 Just who is buried beneath the earth in the Barrow-Downs?
05/19/2012 What else did Sauron instruct the Nine to do while they were abroad?
06/03/2012 What was Sharkey really after when he overthrew Hobbiton?
06/16/2012 What's the real reason that Farmer Maggot kept people away from his farm?
07/07/2012 So why did the Avari refuse the Valar's call to travel to Valinor?
08/04/2012 What had happened in Bilbo's past that made Gandalf think he'd make an excellent burglar?
08/18/2012 So what secrets *did* Gollum find in the lightless deeps of the Misty Mountains?
10/13/2012 So what was it about the Arkenstone that had Dwarves, Elves and Men so desperate to get their hands on it?
10/20/2012 Few people know that the Uruk-hai were a mistake. What was Saruman really trying to breed in the pits of Isengard?
10/28/2012 What prompted Smaug to fly out of the North and attack the Lonely Mountain?
11/10/2012 By what secret art did the Elves keep evil creatures away from the borders of Lothlorien?

2013

01/26/2013 We've seen him use it to illuminate ithildin letters, but what else does Lord Elrond use his crystal table for?
02/02/2013 Radagast has Rhosgobel; Saruman has Isengard. What was Gandalf's home base and why is he not there any more?
02/09/2013 What is the real reason for the distrust between Elves and Dwarves?
02/23/2013 So why did Tom Bombadil keep himself apart from the wider world anyway?

03/02/2013 Just why did the Valar ban humans from visiting them in Valinor?
03/16/2013 03/16/2013 On her way to the Grey Havens, what did Arwen really see in her vision that made her turn back to confront daddy?
04/13/2013 So why did Eru never get directly involved in the trials and tribulations of Middle-earth?
04/27/2013 Just why was Feanor so desperate to get the Silmarils back?
05/18/2013 What were the Nazgul doing during all those years of secrecy before Sauron unleashed them to hunt down Baggins and the One Ring?
06/22/2013 So why did the Elves of Mirkwood do nothing about Dol Guldur in their forest?
07/07/2013 In his younger years, why did Aragorn travel so widely under assumed names?
07/20/2013 So why did Glorfindel leave Mandos's halls to return to Middle-earth?
08/03/2013 What was the real reason that the Avari elves chose to not leave Middle-earth for Valinor?
08/24/2013 What was the real reason that the Valar sent five Maiar to Middle-earth?